WOPA Letter 28 - My Story

First Marriage
Hi! "My story" begins about 30 years ago when I married my first husband. Long story very short is -- after 8 and a half years of marriage, my husband's continued negative behavior was un-acceptable, so we got divorced.

WoPA Letter 27 - Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Maxine,

Oh how your heart will be broken. Oh how you will feel betrayed. You feel lied to, cheated on, and forgotten about. But you are not alone. You are not. There will be days when you feel so alone it hurts, it literally will make your body and heart hurt in ways you didn’t know possible. But you are not alone. Not only do you have a loving Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ who are there for you, there are many other women who have walked very similar paths. Reach out to others. Reach out to other women in your life and reach out to God in prayer.

Advice to My Younger Self

The LDS Church has just released several letters from spouses and loved ones who are dealing with a loved one's addiction. Each participant wrote a letter to their younger self, then read their letter on video.  You can find the letters and videos here:

WoPA Letter 26 - Sharing with the Women at Church

(Lesson given in Church meeting by one of the women in our Community)

Dear Sisters,

I want to start off by acknowledging some of the awkwardness in all this -- mainly mine!
I’m here speaking about pornography -- and about my own husband’s pornography addiction and recovery. With people that I run into at the grocery store. It’s pretty vulnerable.

So, why do I want to do this? Because I believe pornography is one of the plagues of the last day. I believe Satan has ingeniously counterfeited and mocked what is most sacred, and he’s using it to destroy families and souls. I cannot stay silent on something that is hurting so many of my brothers and sisters -- and is profoundly shaping the world my children are growing up in.

Addiction is fueled by two main things: Secrecy and shame. When we ignore this topic, when we only speak of it in hushed tones, when we tip toe around it, when we seem too disgusted by it to talk about it, when we ignore the elephant in the room . . . we are doing Satan’s job for him. We are fueling the secrecy and shame. We must bring this topic into the light -- Christ says, “he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

WOPA Letter 25 - My Story

My story starts when I was 15 years old. 

I was part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, but I was inactive and I could not really tell you anything about Jesus Christ. That being said, I met a guy who I thought I loved and I thought he loved me back, with whom I broke the law of chastity with a few times. 

WOPA Letter 24 - My Story

Our story begins just a few short months after I returned from an LDS mission. I was introduced to my now husband (also a returned missionary) and we began to date. We made each other laugh, had the same values and goals and a deep love of the Gospel.

WOPA Letter 23 - My Story

They say hindsight is 20/20.

Looking back I can recognize the red flags and the slow descent of our marriage. You’d think I could have recognized the sharp drops for what they were, but it was just so natural to make excuses for them. It was far easier to blame myself for being paranoid, ridiculous, or at fault. Rebuilding trust in myself has actually been harder than rebuilding trust in my husband.

WOPA Letter 22 - My Story

My husband is the love of my life. We became best friends in college and we didn’t develop our romantic relationship for several years. By the time I fell in love with him, I trusted and admired him more than anyone I had ever met. I just could not wait to marry this man.

WOPA Letter 21 - My Story

My story starts somewhere between being born and August 24th, 2013. Somewhere in between those two significant events, I was continually on and off rollercoasters which is ironic because I absolutely hate rollercoasters.

WoPA Letter 20 - My Story

It was a 7:00 a.m. Physical Science 101 class where I first saw my husband. For me, it was love at first sight. We dated for 2 years and then married in the LDS temple. That was 30 years ago.