Very early into our relationship, I knew that A was to be my husband. He likes to tell people that it was his good looks and manly Toyota truck that won me. Through multiple spiritual experiences I knew; revelation through prayer, random strangers suddenly appearing out of nowhere and telling me that he'd marry me, details in my patriarchal blessing, and in a dream.
WoPA Letter 11 - My Story
My husband is a sex-addict. He is addicted to pornography and masturbation. I hope and pray that it never becomes anything more.
WoPA Letter 10 - Letter to Myself
Dear Me,
Your husband just confessed his porn addiction to you. You are 21. No 21-year-old girl should have to go through what you are. My heart breaks just thinking about you. You are feeling so many things: fear, shame, guilt, stress, anger, sadness, betrayal, weakness, vulnerable, and numbness. You will feel more. Your ability to experience emotion will intensify as you go on, but so will your ability to receive promptings from God and to see the light shine through the darkness.
Your husband just confessed his porn addiction to you. You are 21. No 21-year-old girl should have to go through what you are. My heart breaks just thinking about you. You are feeling so many things: fear, shame, guilt, stress, anger, sadness, betrayal, weakness, vulnerable, and numbness. You will feel more. Your ability to experience emotion will intensify as you go on, but so will your ability to receive promptings from God and to see the light shine through the darkness.
Addict Letter 1 - Letter to the Addict in Me
(This is a letter written by an Addict to that Addict part of himself)
Dear Addict,
First of all I would like to say thanks for all that you have given me. You have allowed me to be what I thought that I needed to be. You have allowed me to be even and hide my emotions when I thought that I needed to do that. Any time that I have been lonely or bored, you have been there to provide excitement and a secret rush. Even though you have been the source of much of my shame and pain, you have been there to mask the hurt and hide the sorrow.
Dear Addict,
First of all I would like to say thanks for all that you have given me. You have allowed me to be what I thought that I needed to be. You have allowed me to be even and hide my emotions when I thought that I needed to do that. Any time that I have been lonely or bored, you have been there to provide excitement and a secret rush. Even though you have been the source of much of my shame and pain, you have been there to mask the hurt and hide the sorrow.
WoPA Letter 9 - Letter to Myself
A letter to me.
Something scary is headed your way. You know, you have always know that this picture perfect life of yours is too good to be true. It will hit you. You won’t expect it but you’ll walk in on it and some things will suddenly make sense. You will see that something has been wrong all along just as you suspected. But you will see that it wasn’t you. Jesus Christ will pick you up in that moment and he will carry you in his arms for an entire week.
Something scary is headed your way. You know, you have always know that this picture perfect life of yours is too good to be true. It will hit you. You won’t expect it but you’ll walk in on it and some things will suddenly make sense. You will see that something has been wrong all along just as you suspected. But you will see that it wasn’t you. Jesus Christ will pick you up in that moment and he will carry you in his arms for an entire week.
WoPA Letter 8 - Dear Bishop
Dear Bishop,
I just wanted to send a quick note to update you on my activity with the church's addiction recovery program.
I facilitate for two meetings. Saturday mornings 7:30am. This meeting is for women who are affected by the pornography or sexual addiction of a loved one.
I just wanted to send a quick note to update you on my activity with the church's addiction recovery program.
I facilitate for two meetings. Saturday mornings 7:30am. This meeting is for women who are affected by the pornography or sexual addiction of a loved one.
WoPA Letter 7 - My Story
My Story
My husband has a porn addiction. I wish I was alone. I wish I was the only one who was dealing with this. I wish nobody else ever had to deal with the feelings and problems this brings into a marriage. But, I’m not alone. I’m far from alone.
My husband has a porn addiction. I wish I was alone. I wish I was the only one who was dealing with this. I wish nobody else ever had to deal with the feelings and problems this brings into a marriage. But, I’m not alone. I’m far from alone.
WoPA Letter 6 - Dear Relief Society President
To My Relief Society President,
This is a very hard letter for me to write. The desire and need to confide in you has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I can't ignore it any longer.
This is a very hard letter for me to write. The desire and need to confide in you has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I can't ignore it any longer.
WoPA Letter 5 - Myths Dispelled
Myths Dispelled
On January 2, 2013, a four hour conversation with my husband changed my life forever. I knew within the first 10 minutes that our marriage hung by a thread and whether or not we made it, was primarily up to him. That was the night that it became clear that my husband’s “porn problem” was actually an addiction.
On January 2, 2013, a four hour conversation with my husband changed my life forever. I knew within the first 10 minutes that our marriage hung by a thread and whether or not we made it, was primarily up to him. That was the night that it became clear that my husband’s “porn problem” was actually an addiction.
WoPA Letter 4 - Dear Friend (Fellow WoPA)
Dear Friend,
I am so sorry that you have found yourself in a situation that warrants you reading this letter. This isn’t a fun place to be and the circumstances that have lead to it are traumatizing and painful. More than anything else, I would like you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I know the pain, the betrayal and the trauma that results from a pornography or sexual addiction. I also know the hope, the healing and the strength that comes from finding my own recovery.
I am so sorry that you have found yourself in a situation that warrants you reading this letter. This isn’t a fun place to be and the circumstances that have lead to it are traumatizing and painful. More than anything else, I would like you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I know the pain, the betrayal and the trauma that results from a pornography or sexual addiction. I also know the hope, the healing and the strength that comes from finding my own recovery.
WoPA Letter 3 - Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
My husband and I have had a challenging year. Actually, it has been one of the hardest of my life and yet also the most spiritual and comforting. My husband has struggled with an addiction to pornography since he was a teenager. There were long periods of sobriety, sometimes years long and many bishops and feelings of “I’ve got this”. He would continually follow his priesthood leader’s guidance to ‘study your scriptures more, pray more and attend the temple more’, in an effort to conquer this trial.
My husband and I have had a challenging year. Actually, it has been one of the hardest of my life and yet also the most spiritual and comforting. My husband has struggled with an addiction to pornography since he was a teenager. There were long periods of sobriety, sometimes years long and many bishops and feelings of “I’ve got this”. He would continually follow his priesthood leader’s guidance to ‘study your scriptures more, pray more and attend the temple more’, in an effort to conquer this trial.
WoPA Letter 2 - Dear Bishop
Dear Bishop,
I've been thinking a lot about trials and weaknesses lately. Your meeting with us yesterday has had one thing repeating in my head, "That hard things aren't bad things." I even spent the whole weekend reflecting on the trials in my life and their benefits. Now, I'm still a little too close to [an unrelated trial] to be seeing all the blessings, but I believe I will find them. But, with the porn stuff, my heart has been full all weekend, for the blessings of this trial.
I've been thinking a lot about trials and weaknesses lately. Your meeting with us yesterday has had one thing repeating in my head, "That hard things aren't bad things." I even spent the whole weekend reflecting on the trials in my life and their benefits. Now, I'm still a little too close to [an unrelated trial] to be seeing all the blessings, but I believe I will find them. But, with the porn stuff, my heart has been full all weekend, for the blessings of this trial.
WoPA Letter 1 - Dear Stake President
Dear Stake President,
I am a member of your stake and last year, I learned that my husband of many years (a loving, selfless, ambitious, prayerful, God fearing returned missionary who I married in the temple) is addicted to pornography, and has been deceiving and lying to me our entire marriage.
I am a member of your stake and last year, I learned that my husband of many years (a loving, selfless, ambitious, prayerful, God fearing returned missionary who I married in the temple) is addicted to pornography, and has been deceiving and lying to me our entire marriage.
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