I was part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, but I was inactive and I could not really tell you anything about Jesus Christ. That being said, I met a guy who I thought I loved and I thought he loved me back, with whom I broke the law of chastity with a few times.
WOPA Letter 24 - My Story
Our story begins just a few short months after I returned from an LDS mission. I was introduced to my now husband (also a returned missionary) and we began to date. We made each other laugh, had the same values and goals and a deep love of the Gospel.
WOPA Letter 23 - My Story
They say hindsight is 20/20.
Looking back I can recognize the red flags and the slow descent of our marriage. You’d think I could have recognized the sharp drops for what they were, but it was just so natural to make excuses for them. It was far easier to blame myself for being paranoid, ridiculous, or at fault. Rebuilding trust in myself has actually been harder than rebuilding trust in my husband.
WOPA Letter 22 - My Story
My husband is the love of my life. We became best friends in college and we didn’t develop our romantic relationship for several years. By the time I fell in love with him, I trusted and admired him more than anyone I had ever met. I just could not wait to marry this man.
WOPA Letter 21 - My Story
My story starts somewhere between being born and August 24th, 2013. Somewhere in between those two significant events, I was continually on and off rollercoasters which is ironic because I absolutely hate rollercoasters.
WoPA Letter 20 - My Story
It was a 7:00 a.m. Physical Science 101 class where I first saw my husband. For me, it was love at first sight. We dated for 2 years and then married in the LDS temple. That was 30 years ago.
WoPA Letter 19 - My Story
It's not like I thought nothing hard would ever happen to us. I wasn't so Disney brain-washed that I thought we'd never fight. I just didn't think we'd ever fight like this about him being so dissatisfied with our life that he became a sex addict.
WoPA Letter 18 - My Story
No amount of words can fully express the pure hell I went through when the drugs wore off. Physical pain. Emotional pain. It was unbearable and I was terrified. An hour into the withdrawals my body started to sweat and shake. It felt like I had the worst flu of my life, x1000.
And then the real pain started.
And then the real pain started.
WoPA Letter 17 - My Story
I am the mother of three beautiful children and the wife to one handsome husband. I also happen to be a devout Mormon woman, a closet hippie, and an avid foodie. I love polka dots, the color red, and anything vintage/retro/antique. This is me and this is my story about healing; healing from the sex addiction of said husband.
WoPA Letter 16 - Dear Bishop (One Month Out)
Dear Bishop,
As a woman, one month ago I lost a sense of control over my life when the depth and breadth of my husband's pornography problem came to light. I felt powerless to an onslaught of fear and anxiety that filled nearly every aspect of my life, as things hung precariously with my husband's work and the issue of trust in our relationship. I heard this situation described once as:
As a woman, one month ago I lost a sense of control over my life when the depth and breadth of my husband's pornography problem came to light. I felt powerless to an onslaught of fear and anxiety that filled nearly every aspect of my life, as things hung precariously with my husband's work and the issue of trust in our relationship. I heard this situation described once as:
WoPA Letter 15 - My Story
“Isn’t this the whole point?” my seminary teacher asked our class from the depths of his soul, “to draw close to Him, so close that one day we will see His face…” that was the moment that my life changed forever. I had been meeting with the Missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, attending 6AM seminary with some friends before school for my last 2 months of High School, and I knew that joining the church was what I needed to do. I longed to be closer to my Savior, to make a better life, to serve and bless other people. I saw right away that through the Church, I could do all of that. I could be closer to my Savior. I NEEDED to be closer to Him. I had a sober mind for an 18 year old.
WoPA Letter 14 - My Story
I first learned of my husbands’ pornography addiction in 2003, after two kids and six years of marriage (of course at the time I didn’t know it was an addiction). Walking into our computer room that night is an image I can never erase from my mind.
WoPA Letter 13 - My Story
My husband has been addicted to porn for over 25 years. Before we got married, he told me that he had issues as a teenager, but we both agreed that it was over. He served an honorable mission without any issues, and we were convinced that getting married would alleviate any need for porn/masturbation.
WoPA Letter 12 - My Story
Very early into our relationship, I knew that A was to be my husband. He likes to tell people that it was his good looks and manly Toyota truck that won me. Through multiple spiritual experiences I knew; revelation through prayer, random strangers suddenly appearing out of nowhere and telling me that he'd marry me, details in my patriarchal blessing, and in a dream.
WoPA Letter 11 - My Story
My husband is a sex-addict. He is addicted to pornography and masturbation. I hope and pray that it never becomes anything more.
WoPA Letter 10 - Letter to Myself
Dear Me,
Your husband just confessed his porn addiction to you. You are 21. No 21-year-old girl should have to go through what you are. My heart breaks just thinking about you. You are feeling so many things: fear, shame, guilt, stress, anger, sadness, betrayal, weakness, vulnerable, and numbness. You will feel more. Your ability to experience emotion will intensify as you go on, but so will your ability to receive promptings from God and to see the light shine through the darkness.
Your husband just confessed his porn addiction to you. You are 21. No 21-year-old girl should have to go through what you are. My heart breaks just thinking about you. You are feeling so many things: fear, shame, guilt, stress, anger, sadness, betrayal, weakness, vulnerable, and numbness. You will feel more. Your ability to experience emotion will intensify as you go on, but so will your ability to receive promptings from God and to see the light shine through the darkness.
Addict Letter 1 - Letter to the Addict in Me
(This is a letter written by an Addict to that Addict part of himself)
Dear Addict,
First of all I would like to say thanks for all that you have given me. You have allowed me to be what I thought that I needed to be. You have allowed me to be even and hide my emotions when I thought that I needed to do that. Any time that I have been lonely or bored, you have been there to provide excitement and a secret rush. Even though you have been the source of much of my shame and pain, you have been there to mask the hurt and hide the sorrow.
Dear Addict,
First of all I would like to say thanks for all that you have given me. You have allowed me to be what I thought that I needed to be. You have allowed me to be even and hide my emotions when I thought that I needed to do that. Any time that I have been lonely or bored, you have been there to provide excitement and a secret rush. Even though you have been the source of much of my shame and pain, you have been there to mask the hurt and hide the sorrow.
WoPA Letter 9 - Letter to Myself
A letter to me.
Something scary is headed your way. You know, you have always know that this picture perfect life of yours is too good to be true. It will hit you. You won’t expect it but you’ll walk in on it and some things will suddenly make sense. You will see that something has been wrong all along just as you suspected. But you will see that it wasn’t you. Jesus Christ will pick you up in that moment and he will carry you in his arms for an entire week.
Something scary is headed your way. You know, you have always know that this picture perfect life of yours is too good to be true. It will hit you. You won’t expect it but you’ll walk in on it and some things will suddenly make sense. You will see that something has been wrong all along just as you suspected. But you will see that it wasn’t you. Jesus Christ will pick you up in that moment and he will carry you in his arms for an entire week.
WoPA Letter 8 - Dear Bishop
Dear Bishop,
I just wanted to send a quick note to update you on my activity with the church's addiction recovery program.
I facilitate for two meetings. Saturday mornings 7:30am. This meeting is for women who are affected by the pornography or sexual addiction of a loved one.
I just wanted to send a quick note to update you on my activity with the church's addiction recovery program.
I facilitate for two meetings. Saturday mornings 7:30am. This meeting is for women who are affected by the pornography or sexual addiction of a loved one.
WoPA Letter 7 - My Story
My Story
My husband has a porn addiction. I wish I was alone. I wish I was the only one who was dealing with this. I wish nobody else ever had to deal with the feelings and problems this brings into a marriage. But, I’m not alone. I’m far from alone.
My husband has a porn addiction. I wish I was alone. I wish I was the only one who was dealing with this. I wish nobody else ever had to deal with the feelings and problems this brings into a marriage. But, I’m not alone. I’m far from alone.
WoPA Letter 6 - Dear Relief Society President
To My Relief Society President,
This is a very hard letter for me to write. The desire and need to confide in you has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I can't ignore it any longer.
This is a very hard letter for me to write. The desire and need to confide in you has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I can't ignore it any longer.
WoPA Letter 5 - Myths Dispelled
Myths Dispelled
On January 2, 2013, a four hour conversation with my husband changed my life forever. I knew within the first 10 minutes that our marriage hung by a thread and whether or not we made it, was primarily up to him. That was the night that it became clear that my husband’s “porn problem” was actually an addiction.
On January 2, 2013, a four hour conversation with my husband changed my life forever. I knew within the first 10 minutes that our marriage hung by a thread and whether or not we made it, was primarily up to him. That was the night that it became clear that my husband’s “porn problem” was actually an addiction.
WoPA Letter 4 - Dear Friend (Fellow WoPA)
Dear Friend,
I am so sorry that you have found yourself in a situation that warrants you reading this letter. This isn’t a fun place to be and the circumstances that have lead to it are traumatizing and painful. More than anything else, I would like you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I know the pain, the betrayal and the trauma that results from a pornography or sexual addiction. I also know the hope, the healing and the strength that comes from finding my own recovery.
I am so sorry that you have found yourself in a situation that warrants you reading this letter. This isn’t a fun place to be and the circumstances that have lead to it are traumatizing and painful. More than anything else, I would like you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I know the pain, the betrayal and the trauma that results from a pornography or sexual addiction. I also know the hope, the healing and the strength that comes from finding my own recovery.
WoPA Letter 3 - Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
My husband and I have had a challenging year. Actually, it has been one of the hardest of my life and yet also the most spiritual and comforting. My husband has struggled with an addiction to pornography since he was a teenager. There were long periods of sobriety, sometimes years long and many bishops and feelings of “I’ve got this”. He would continually follow his priesthood leader’s guidance to ‘study your scriptures more, pray more and attend the temple more’, in an effort to conquer this trial.
My husband and I have had a challenging year. Actually, it has been one of the hardest of my life and yet also the most spiritual and comforting. My husband has struggled with an addiction to pornography since he was a teenager. There were long periods of sobriety, sometimes years long and many bishops and feelings of “I’ve got this”. He would continually follow his priesthood leader’s guidance to ‘study your scriptures more, pray more and attend the temple more’, in an effort to conquer this trial.
WoPA Letter 2 - Dear Bishop
Dear Bishop,
I've been thinking a lot about trials and weaknesses lately. Your meeting with us yesterday has had one thing repeating in my head, "That hard things aren't bad things." I even spent the whole weekend reflecting on the trials in my life and their benefits. Now, I'm still a little too close to [an unrelated trial] to be seeing all the blessings, but I believe I will find them. But, with the porn stuff, my heart has been full all weekend, for the blessings of this trial.
I've been thinking a lot about trials and weaknesses lately. Your meeting with us yesterday has had one thing repeating in my head, "That hard things aren't bad things." I even spent the whole weekend reflecting on the trials in my life and their benefits. Now, I'm still a little too close to [an unrelated trial] to be seeing all the blessings, but I believe I will find them. But, with the porn stuff, my heart has been full all weekend, for the blessings of this trial.
WoPA Letter 1 - Dear Stake President
Dear Stake President,
I am a member of your stake and last year, I learned that my husband of many years (a loving, selfless, ambitious, prayerful, God fearing returned missionary who I married in the temple) is addicted to pornography, and has been deceiving and lying to me our entire marriage.
I am a member of your stake and last year, I learned that my husband of many years (a loving, selfless, ambitious, prayerful, God fearing returned missionary who I married in the temple) is addicted to pornography, and has been deceiving and lying to me our entire marriage.
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